Call for a good time?

By John Abbott
Senior Staff Writer

Have you ever wonder if you really could have a good time with Jenny at 555-4573? Or maybe you'd have better luck with Bruce?

As it turns out, it's not so easy to find out.

A recent survey of the stall walls in the men's rooms of 12 UK buildings turned up only four useful examples.

It also made one thing clear: what a lot of guys have on their minds when they're on the can is other guys.

The vast majority of the markings -- some in pencil, some in pen, some carved right into the metal -- consisted of anonymous, graphic descriptions of gay sex, or virulent condemnations of it.

In a library restroom, a GWM (gay white male, in personal ad-speak) begs the reader to give him a call, although the number has been scratched out.

A presumably talented individual advertising in the basement of Pence Hall wants to know if anyone would like to sample his oral abilities.

Messages in both White Hall Classroom Building and the Business and Economics Building announce sexual escapades to be held in the Seaton Center sauna.

Finding an abundance of homosexual references doesn't necessarily mean there is an unusually large population of gay men on campus.

As a 1985 study by researchers at Emporia State University noted, "A great deal of graffiti may have little to do with an individual's psyche."

Or, you don't have to be gay to write graffiti.

So what, if anything, does such a proliferation of homosexual markings prove?

In "Graffiti: Two Thousand Years of Wall Writing," author Robert Reisner suggests a connection between the number of gay references and the general preoccupation of a society with homosexuality.

The less accepted it is as a practice, the more often such thoughts will show up in the private confines of a restroom.

Reisner cited a study in which graffiti from the Philippines -- where homosexuality isn't so controversial -- was compared with American examples. The Philippine sample contained fewer homosexual references.

"Homosexuality," he wrote, "seems to preoccupy Americans to an inordinate degree, as if it were some exotic disease."

So, do any guys out there still think about girls? One does.

According to his scrawl in White Hall, he thinks you should "throw her down, knock her out, rape her and tatoo (sic) your name on her forehead."

In B&E, one can find "Get a haircut. Get a job," arguably an appropriate topic in a building full of business majors.

Anderson and McVey bathrooms were nearly unmarked, but Patterson Office Tower was an unexpectedly rich source of material.

Here, one author declares that "Malcolm X was a racist."

Another offers a crude rendering of two men engaging in sex. The drawing has a circle around it and a slash through it, bearing the legend "Stop AIDS."

It was on the second floor of White Hall classroom building that this survey found the only example of that restroom classic, "For a good time, call ... " followed by some unsuspecting woman's name and phone number.

Three guys' phone numbers showed up, though, complete with detailed descriptions of how skillful they purportedly were, and what tricks they allegedly were willing to perform.

Now, about those four numbers ...

Two were no longer current, but a call to the third man and the one woman produced one unhappy couple.

Here's how the conversation went with the female. We won't use her real name.

"Is this Marguerite?"

"Yes."

"Are you aware that your name is written on the side of a men's restroom in White Hall Classroom Building?"

"What?"

It was the kind of "What?" that you might hear from someone whose entire family has been run over by a bus.

"Yup. It says, 'for a good time, call,' and has your name and number right next to it."

"You're not serious."

"I am."

"I can't believe it."

"Has anyone ever called this number before, asking if you really were a good time?"

"No, this is the first I've heard of it."

"Does it bother you that you're being anonymously proffered like this?"

"I'll say it does."

"Would you like for me to go scratch it out for you?" I said.

"I would appreciate that."

She called back a few minutes later, still highly agitated.

"You're not going to use my real name, are you?"

"No, of course not. I would never do that."

"Because I don't want my name and phone number getting out."

"I'm not going to use it."

"Okay."

"Bye."